I have a new friend who is great at asking insightful questions. In fact, he’s so good that each time I get to hang out with him I wonder what he’ll ask me next.
Our conversation once again began with a great question.
“Tim, what do you do when you fail big?”
I answered, “I sit in it.”
“You sit in it?”
“Yes, I sit in it. A few years ago I decided that if God has something to teach me through my stupidity or sin then I don’t want to miss the lesson. So I sit in my pain for as long as it takes… until He reveals to me what I need to know and what needs to change internally so that I don’t repeat the failure.
“Great leaders look back to remember the faithfulness of God and look ahead to what He is calling them to in the next season.”
As I looked back on 2020, one story kept coming to mind. In October, we launched Refresh Group 4. During our first session together we gave the guys some instruction and asked them to spend 90 minutes in the quiet listening to Jesus. Around the campfire that night my new friend Matt told us he didn’t hear from Jesus but enjoyed the time alone in contemplation. Then he proceeded to tell the group all the thoughts that kept going through his mind as well as the profound things that were coming to the surface of his heart. He said something like, “even though I didn’t hear from Jesus I felt like I know what He wants me to work on.”
The world is asking me to operate like a supercomputer - to process all of the information thrown at me in real time, quickly evaluate and consistently make great decisions. Worse yet - the internet assumes that my brain is adapting to the speed at which technology now operates and that I can keep up. And for the most part my brain can… or so it seems.
But I’m discovering that my soul cannot. My soul is not a supercomputer. This tension is creating some combination of anxiety and holy discontent within me and I can no longer ignore it.