The world is asking me to operate like a supercomputer - to process all of the information thrown at me in real time, quickly evaluate and consistently make great decisions. Worse yet - the internet assumes that my brain is adapting to the speed at which technology now operates and that I can keep up. And for the most part my brain can… or so it seems.
But I’m discovering that my soul cannot. My soul is not a supercomputer. This tension is creating some combination of anxiety and holy discontent within me and I can no longer ignore it.
Free and Light. I remember the first time I heard those words. I was at a spiritual retreat center trying to figure out my life. Juggling a fast moving career, relationships, my poor health and family felt like I was carrying a 50lb rock uphill. And it was working as well as you can imagine. I didn't even know what free and life meant.
“Am I tired?” Check.
“Am I worn out?” Check.
“Am I burned out on religion?” Double Check.
As I watched, I shook my head and said “really?”. I was royally ticked. We have been planning this Refresh for almost a year. We have prayed over these guys, fasted for them and have had countless hours planning this experience. In my mind I was thinking “and you can’t stop the rain for a day?”
Then, in that still small voice, Jesus said to me, “am I not in the rain?”